Geography

Its been a while but..... lots of excuses etc.

Thank you Oogie..... its appreciated.

Onto the local geography. I'm actually going to post some pics of my patch - nothing spectacular to start but I promise to try and get some really good pics of my region - the T.ama.r V.all.ey.
First one is a pic from my gate looking almost due north. The second one is looking at Auckl.and with - in the far far distance - the usa. (if you squint you may just be able to see it). The third pic is looking due south from my gate and the fourth is down my drive towards my house. the last one is a part view of the (cough) mansion. Click on the pics for an enlarged view - thats if you want to of course, which you may not, and thats ok too. But it would be really cool if you did.......

DAMN - ok read the pics from bottom to top - for some reason they posted in reverse order and I'm too lazy to fix it - hee hee.

More later - trying to clean up before the aged care assessors arrive to check over the granny from hell.

Teddy Bears part 2

Further to my post about teddy bears - "The Architect" and myself have had a big debate about them - I think teddy bears DO have feelings! "The Architect" claims they dont! She thinks that this aging hippy/grey haired geriatric is loopy and must have indulged in certain herbs too much in the dim distant past or too much whiskey in the hazy present!
Two points there - I can't stand the smell of a certain herb - ergo - never indulged, and as to the alcohol based substance - weeeeelllllll.
Bottom line - me and my teddy have a really great rapport and we have some inredibly deep and meaningful conversations when the bottle is about half empty.

If anybody made any sense of the previous post - GET OF THE DRUGS - or then again, maybe you need 'em.......

GRASS

I spent some time in the garden today watching the grass grow cos I still haven't fixed the mower.

I also moved some of my pine seedlings into larger pots and my brown thumb struck! By this avo some had already wilted! Maybe if I went around digging up weeds and transplanting they would die. With my luck the sods would thrive.

The wildlife is also thriving too - I have a possum that likes to take nocturnal hikes across my roof and I'm sure the mongrel is learning to tapdance - in hobnail boots! But I did have a good laugh at its expense....
The back half of my house has an attic section above with the roof at a 45 degree angle - so very steep. Laying in bed one night i could hear the damn possum walking along the roof ridge with a friend. Suddenly 1st possum slips of ridge and I hear his toenails trying to dig into the steel roof - screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech - pause - thud!!! as he fell from the eaves. Two minutes later 2nd possum does the same thing!!! screeeeeeeeeeech - pause - thud!!! I couldn't sleep - I was curled into a ball howling with laughter!! And its all ok - the possums are fine and weren't injured - they often fall outa trees so they land like cats except heavier.

And a bird has nested in the top of the kitchen flue and its babies spend their days pecking at it. The tapping echoes through the kitchen and its driving me dippy (dippier). An echidna seems to enjoy harrassing my dog (has visited twice now in a week) and I have a colony of bats living in my workshop roof. They are there every year just before halloween - how cool is that!?

Gazillions of wallabies - damn dog is on first name basis with 'em, invites the lot round to his water dish. I usually have a couple of kookaburras but they haven't rocked up yet.

The thumb is healing nicely - I've been having fun grossing out anybody I can pin down with the an explicit explanation (along with screwdriver bit) of how I achieved my injury!! I eventually went to the doctor after a lot of nagging by every female i know to get a tetanus shot. I haven't had one in more than 25 years so...... The damn shot hurt!!! The "Vague One" (niece 3) found the whole thing amusing and facinating. The doc looked at the wound and I could see he was thinking ( Oh joy - stitches!!) But the injury was a day old and no way was I having them!! So just a clean and a dressing later.... The nurse was cute tho..... ;-}

Talking of stitches - Many years ago I managed to get a deep cut on my foot from a broken bottle in a creek. It required three stitches but the doc gave me FIVE jabs of local anaesthetic!! Where the hell was the sense in that!?

I can't think of any other news atm so I'll finish here. I checked out a comment on no. 3's blog from a photog guy inU.S. - cool idea so I may from time to time publish scenery pics of my patch of geography. Most oz wildlife is nocturnal so, unless I spend all night wandering around in the dark with a cam there wont be much animal stuff. Also try explaining to the local law what you are doing with a cam at night in suburbia..... "So sir - you are saying that there just happened to be an open bedroom window in line with your shot....?" yeah right.....

take care all - and smile.....

One of Those Days

I shouldn't have got out of bed.

I was using a cordless drill while working away on the new kitchen extension, trying to drive screws into a hard piece of timber - leaning on the drill when the screw tipped over and the driver bit buried itself in my thumb right alongside the thumbnail while spinning at high speed!!! It tore out a nice chunk of meat and muscle almost through to the front of the thumb. Well close enough that it left a star shaped bruise on the INSIDE of the bottom of my thumb!!!

My usual command of english deserted me and I simply resorted to the most basic of expletives - only 3 or 4 of 'em but repeated infinitum. Its amazing how rapidly intelligence gives way to instinct - one ceases to be eloquent or for that matter, even coherent. Apparently i managed to blend my entire expletive vocabulary into one word and then mashed it up - almost as badly as my thumb!

So after a fair amount of blood I went to the local pharmacy (not the doctor - I do want to live) and obtained some suitable dressings and antiseptic and administered to my mutilated (and slightly smaller) thumb.

Upon my return to my humble (and that is an optimistic description) abode I managed to walk head first into the mirror of my truck!! I now have a bolt shaped depression in my forehead!!

I am spending the rest of today in bed with a bottle of scotch - and I aint gonna move!! Bad luck is supposed to come in three's - oh god - what next!!?? I've tied foam to the toilet bowl so I shouldn't get hurt there. I'll crawl around the house so I can't trip. (The crawling may also be an after effect of the scotch) and I just may sleep on the floor too - just to be sure.

And I want heaps of sympathy from the wider world.....

Oh - and as an added bonus I may publish a pic later of the screwwdriver bit all clogged up with meat from my thumb!

I'm a sick puppy hee hee........

Teddy Bears

A few months before niece no. 1 (the planner) left for NZ, she bought a teddy bear and when she got it home discovered the poor thing had a club foot! She gave it to me cos I took pity on the poor thing. (How do you take pity on an inanimate object?!) I am probably the only middle aged male with a teddy on his bed!

Ok - I know what's coming! Yes I do know that there are specialist doctors that can help and it all stems back to my mother taking my dummy (for those in the U.S. - a pacifier) away too soon! (I was only 21!)

I've just been telling my other nieces about the mischief I got into as a kid. My older brother was usually the butt of these pranks. ie - putting a firecracker under his car seat whilst he was sitting in it and looking the other way! He would come after me and I would run to dad. Another time I loosened his bike pedals - that had hilarious results. The rope across the door of our shared bedroom. The fire cracker I threw into the shed while he was in there and the ensuing yells, screams and abuse. I learned to be an olympic sprinter and always had a weather eye out for dad - I then knew when he wasn't looking and where to run to find him for protection. The rubber snake I tossed into the old outhouse while bro was taking care of business and the ensuing streak! He covered all of ten yards with his trousers around his ankles before he fell!

I'll have to post some more of these anecdotes of a country childhood one day. I wasn't a very nice younger brother! But boy did I have fun!

Its a bit unfortunate that the same mischief carried into adulthood. I once short sheeted the nuptial bed - that may partially explain why she is now my ex.......

There were never any firecrackers there - just lots of fireworks! Particularly with my brand of humour.
Thats all for now - I should start on the kitchen renovations but thats another saga.........

Love and Lust

I’m in love. I saw her picture on Saturday. Instant attraction. I phoned up and arranged to meet on Tuesday morning. I arrived in Hobart about 9.00 am and found her at the waterfront as arranged. She was beautiful, elegant and classy. Oh certainly she looked a little careworn but nothing a makeover and some cosmetics wouldn’t fix. She looked damn fine from where I first saw her. A little older than me but I couldn’t care less. She is absolutely gorgeous.
Then we got up close and personal – oh god – my heart was a flutter! I truly thought romance was dead but I was wrong. We jelled, we are made for each other, we have waited a lifetime to meet and finally I have found my soul mate.
We spent about an hour together and in that time my feelings strengthened. I had the opportunity to touch her and then caress her!! I think I pushed all the right buttons cos in moments she was turned on and purring.
Oh god!!! Long dormant feelings were aroused!
Dreams of long summer nights spent in her embrace, gently rocking in some quiet space in isolated bays. The pleasure we could derive in each others company, travelling the world, seeing strange shores.
But alas my heart was to be broken before we could really start. She is not to be mine. She has other suitors and her pleasure shall be theirs. I am consumed with jealousy at the thought of another’s hands touching her, caressing her, being in her embrace. It is so soul destroying, pain beyond belief. To drive away without her was unbearable. The long drive home from Hobart was the longest and saddest I have endured in a long time.
If only I had $25,000 she could be mine! A 56 ft beauty, built like a brick dunny, a ship to be proud of……. SOB – I want her……..

Talent

I am blessed by four very talented nieces - Fi - you are one of the best because of your video of Will. Becbec - I bet you are impressed by the video. Be Proud.........